No, Not Your Computer’s Default Settings…Yours.
That’s right. Whether we like to admit it or not, everyone has “default settings”; habits and patterns of thinking and behavior that have become our automatic “go-to” positions.
Now of course, some of them are good and desirable. Empathy, care, compassion and courage are examples of ones we want to cultivate. But what about the others? The unhelpful ones. The ones that bring us down or hold us back in life; that get us into trouble; make us panic, see red, or freeze?
Thankfully, our unhelpful default responses and reactions can be changed; permanently and for the better. Want to know how? Read on!
Where Do Our Unhelpful Default Responses Come From?
Think about this. Over your life, you’ve picked up habits in the way you anticipate, see, react and respond to things. And if you’re truthful, they’re not all good ones.
Think, for example, about how you anticipate, mentally prepare for and then react to something which last time was unpleasant or uncomfortable. Here are a few examples to get you going:
- Visiting the dentist,
- having an injection,
- making an important speech or presentation,
- facing a challenging performance review with a demanding manager,
- doing your tax return,
- sitting an exam,
- feeling irritated by your partner or a persistently naughty child,
- road rage or confronting a tough or contentious issue,
- trying to quit that hard-to-shake habit,
- standing up to that annoying person…
Are you now hovering somewhere between slight feelings of negative anticipation and complete dread? Or perhaps you’re sitting somewhere between expectant irritation and having your hackles completely up?
Congratulations! You just activated one or more of your “unhelpful defaults”.
Whatever yours are, and lets face it everyone has them, yours will be triggered and often when you least need or expect them.
Here’s An Inconvenient Truth
You don’t get to choose when your unhelpful defaults are activated. You trigger them unconsciously and they can be really tough to consciously override.
When they are triggered, you unconsciously prepare yourself to react or respond the way you did last time; even if you reacted badly. Perhaps you brace yourself for the expectation that this time will be just as bad, if not worse? In fact, that negative anticipation can cause the degree of your unhelpful response or reaction to snowball.
Wait, There’s More…
That unwanted response or reaction, which snowballs mysteriously into a habit or pattern of response, can evolve into an entire belief system. Thus, something originally shaped by a single event, often early in our lives, becomes seriously limiting for us:
“I was terrified that time I walked across the high bridge. I can’t ever seem to deal with heights”.
“I’ve failed my last two math’s exams. I’m terrible at math’s; always have been…always will be”.
“Mum screamed when she saw that spider. We all joined in and screamed right along. Spiders freak me out…I can’t even look at one.”
“I was fired from my last two jobs for reasons I don’t fully understand. There must be something wrong with me. It’s hopeless”.
“The world discriminates against people like me. I’ve come to expect it. I’ll never get ahead”.
“Eating donuts just seems to make me feel better in the moment…even though later on I resent myself terribly for doing it”.
“She made me feel so inadequate in that interview that I mumbled and stammered. I know I’ll be anxious in the next interview. I just know it”.
“I was abused as a kid. I spent my childhood feeling scared, alone, worthless. What chance do I have of ever being happy now?”
“When I’m put on the spot and feel under pressure, I just choke. My mind goes blank. I can’t make a speech. I hate feeling like I’m in the spotlight. I feel overwhelmed, helpless, pathetic.”
“Situations like that just make me so angry. I can feel it coming on almost before it’s even happened”.
So There You Have It…
Hopefully, you get the picture. These are just a few examples of unhelpful default positions that people commonly create, maintain and even amplify over time. Unhelpful belief systems that by now have become limiting…suffocating… even crippling.
The sad fact is that in most cases, the basis of your defaults is often quite false. Perhaps a broad over-generalisation? Perhaps an exaggerated and improbable worst-case scenario you’ve managed to dream up? Perhaps a completely irrational extrapolation? Perhaps ill-founded conclusions you’ve jumped to that have you reacting badly; sometimes even in anticipation of what we’re sure might happen?
They’ve become the ways that, unconsciously, you’ve come to expect, see and respond to things that are triggered “automatically”.
They’ve become unconsciously ingrained…your unhelpful defaults.
OK, I Get It. Where’s That Reset Button? I Want It NOW!
Clinical Hypnotherapy, utilising techniques such as Strategic Psychotherapy and Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), is one of THE most powerful ways to literally reprogram or reset those default positions to something much more realistic; more fair; and certainly more favorable.
Because those default reactions come from deep within your unconscious mind, the very best way of addressing, reprogramming or, if you like, “resetting them” is via hypnotherapy. If you’d like to explore how that works, here’s a link to one of my web pages that explains it in more detail.
Clinical Hypnotherapy can provide an amazing reset mechanism for those unhelpful thinking patterns. It’s arguably faster and more effective than any other therapy. How much faster and more effective? Read this.
If you’re interested to learn more, click here to visit my website. You’ll read how every day in my clinic, I help people overcome unhelpful patterns of thinking and behavior. To find their reset button.
Watch my Introductory Video, which is a fast and easy way to get your head around how it works.
Explore the extensive list of examples of issues I work on with great success for my clients.
Contact Targeted Hypnotherapy Now
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